Extended Families? Contact Expectations and Experiences of Egg Donors Donating to Previously Unknown Recipients

Abstract

In New Zealand egg donation is identity-release, and donors may be known to recipients, e.g. family members/friends, or previously unknown e.g. clinic-recruited or sourced through advertising. In the case of unknown donors, New Zealand practice allows donors and recipients to meet face-to-face prior to donation in a joint counselling meeting. While contact details may not necessarily be exchanged in counselling, information-exchange and contact expectations are usually addressed. In previous papers, we explored donors’ motivations and experiences of donation. In this paper, we explore donors’ ideas around their role in relation to the donor-conceived person (DCP) and their expectations and experiences of information-exchange and contact. While donors did not see themselves as parents and were aware of appropriate boundaries, they described a sense of ongoing connection to DCP, often framing this in extended family terms. They desired to be kept informed about DCP, considered themselves ‘on standby’ for information requests or in-person contact and valued the opportunity for connection between their children and DCP. Donors were, however, cognisant of the limits to their ability to ensure information-exchange and contact and sometimes struggled with their perceived disempowered position. Meeting prior to donation may both clarify and reinforce expectations of information-exchange and contact.