How Transgender Women Find Their Voice: An Autoethnographic Exploration of the Sonic and Metaphoric

Abstract

This research project was a practice-led exploration that addresses the question: How do transgender women find their voice? Through autoethnography, I drew upon my lived experiences as a transgender woman to bring depth to this study through personal insight. This research project conceptualised voice into three distinet categories: (1) sonic voice; (2) voice as an idiom for identity; (3) voice in colonial contexts. The creative output is a short film entitled Panaw Balik Sa Balay (Journey Back Home), where my voice functions as a narrative tool and a sonic representation of identity. Utilising artificial intelligence (AI), I replicated my voice at various stages of my life: as a young boy, as a teenager, and as a woman. These three distinct vocal phases reflect the transformative milestones in my life, positioning the sonic quality of voice as an integral aspect of identity. Moreover, the film, which is situated in pre-colonial Philippines, pays tribute to my indigenous Filipino heritage and my journey towards reindigenisation. The methodology is based on an autoethnographic inquiry that explores the concept of 'finding one's voice' through relevant identity theory frameworks - embodied identity theory, narrative identity theory, relational identity, and decolonial identity. Contextualising my unique path to womanhood within such theories contributes to a deeper understanding of transgender identity formation. Highlighting various facets of this journey such as embracing womanhood, reconnecting with indigeneity, and navigating societal expectations of gender performance.