“It might not be about me, but it impacts me.” Experiences of Cisgender Women Partnered With Transmasculine People During Transition: An Aotearoa NZ and Australian Study

Abstract

Cisgender women partners of transmasculine people are oftentimes the main support person for their transmasculine partner during the transition, and due to the dyadic nature of a relationship, these cisgender women oftentimes undergo their own transition alongside their partner. The impact of their partners’ gender transition has been understood primarily in terms of sexual identity, and little research has explored the breadth of experience. Using a critical realist perspective, an exploratory mixed‑method approach was undertaken, involving two phases of data collection: an online survey (n = 25) and qualitative interviews (n = 5) with cisgender women partnered with transmasculine people during transition in Aotearoa NZ and Australia. Descriptive statistics, content analysis, and reflexive thematic analysis were employed to explore their experiences. Findings revealed that non‑transitioning partners are experiencing their own transition. Participants described the ways normative assumptions shaped their experience of sexual identity, their visibility or invisibility in LGBTQIA+ groups, and their group membership, as well as the impact on parenting. Emotional labour occurred in most contexts and came at a cost to participants. Self‑containment was a psychological strategy employed for the safety and well‑being of their transmasculine partner. Disclosure of sexual identity and life stories was described as a non‑linear process requiring continual negotiation, often prioritising their partner’s well‑being. Overall, participants expressed a desire to be understood as impacted and undergoing their own transition while remaining supportive of their partner’s gender transition. This study highlights the complex, often ambivalent experiences of non‑transitioning partners and extends understanding of how binary sexual identity labels, assumptions about family and parenting, and LGBTQIA+ visibility shape these experiences, identifying implications for practitioners and community organisations.