This practice-based research project is a reflective healing process that looks into the trials and tribulations of moving on after heart break. Weaving its way through my past, present and future; this process raises questions around how my personal experience and queer intimate lifestyle can be situated within academic research. Through the influence of my queer encounters and everyday happenings, the project analyses the relationship between my past and present introduced in the form of blog entries. By observing these moments of encounter in relation to my past, I am able to manifest these as self-portraits through the means of performance and installation. The way my life presents itself as research is linked to the intimate connection it has to my research methodology. Supported by the diaristic methods of the blog posts and being so open to displaying my vulnerabilities publicly, the project introduces the idea of queering heteronormative academic expectations within research. This, in turn, explores the dynamics between public/private spaces, observing/witnessing and online/offline platforms in regard to my practice (life).